I call this Trucks Humping 

Wazzzzzaaaappppppp!!

My first real experience in the “land of opportunities” might be the same for most “desis” as we are colloquially called. I was enrolled at University of Texas in Arlington in the fall of 2002 to go to graduate school. This fresh graduate from India came here expecting to see a “Friends” type setting during the week and an MTv Grind during the weekends. I couldn’t have been further from the truth. The difference in cultures between the two places however, is so marked, and it never came across better to me than in a short span of time spent crossing a small bridge over Cooper Street. “Nice bridge, great construction, what a country!” I found myself saying. I was looking around pretty much wide-eyed and open mouthed when suddenly a guy passed by me.
“What’s up?!?” My immediate response was to wonder as to how bored or lonely he must be to talk to any stranger passing by. They teach you back home that “you don’t speak unless you’re spoken to!”. I mean I’m the type who wouldn’t probably say “how are you” unless I really cared as to how the person was. Doing something like that felt like being dishonest in a way, or maybe even fake. I’d only do things I wanted to do, no courtesies. But I still hadn’t made myself comfortable enough to make a judgment on someone here and immediately modified my reaction to give him an assurance that I was in good health and other related information, which, much to my irritation, the guy didn’t care about. Well, he had asked me a question and he was damn well going to listen to what I had to say.
“Well who cares!” he mutted and walked away. That guy was probably a one-off freak, I said to myself. The second guy passing did the same.
“What’s up?” he mumbled with a tilt of his head. This was a full scale freak show that I was passing by here. Hold on! Maybe they weren’t the exception, but the rule. Well, could it be that the entire country was loony. “Probably so!”- the small town boy in me declared. That probably burst my bubble-this wasn’t a perfect world after all. This was a normal country- all and the people were just like us. Probably a little weirder, this one said nothing just looked at me in shock when I tried to talk about what was up. “There was more to this country than just the huge roads n Silicon Valley and the flyovers” I said to myself as he rushed away. I felt comfortable that this my new country men weren’t at all superior- a notion we in India were made to believe earlier. However this one which is turning into more of a myth than anthing for my generation.
We hold America in respect , not awe. Each country has its positives and negatives and it really depends on the media of that country to project that responsibly. While the American movies are always showing us how they save the world, Indian movies still harp on the comedy of errors that take place in our society-which happens only as much as it does in others , with the effect that we were brought up believing that this country is the origin to solutions of all problems and most Americans brought up with the notion that snake charmers and mahouts roam the streets in India as much as cars. Indians by nature are self-deprecatory , not because we lack self confidence or anything , but just because we are used to living in moderate living conditions and we learn to take that on the chin, we learn to see the humour in the situation, more than the consequence of it. The reason we are immune to most diseases is that we’ve lived in the perfect breeding ground for most of those , and our bodies have adapted. Show a bypass surgeon a scene of an injection and he won’t even flinch. Well we are the bypass surgeons of the world. We’ve seen it all. We learn to see the lighter side of things and not take things too personally. Nevertheless I had to spend a few years here and I wasn’t going to be embarrassed by every tom,dick n harry who passed me. I was going to learn my way around here. “I was going to walk the walk” And it started today.
Now the third guy is where my learning curve would start.
“How ya doing?” he asked.
“I’m confused and have a slight headache, but I hope…” I said but he rolled his eyes and walked past.
“Damn!”.
Now there would have to be a fourth guy to teach me. As soon as I saw him I flashed a “what’s up” in pure “curry” style, albeit pretty coolly I thought. The guy looks up, smiles and gives me “What’s up!” smiled and walked past a still expectant ME. It then struck me! “Get real! Is that it?!? It couldn’t be”. It went against everything I had learned all my life.. “You reply to a question with an answer-not another question”. Well, not in America supposedly. What is considered pushing into other’s comfort zone back home is called “being nice” over here. It has taken me a couple of years to just relax and go with the flow, to learn that not all questions demand answers ,some are probably ,well, just to acknowledge your presence and one of the most important things I’ve learned is that a question isn’t always a question. It can also be an answer. So if you see me across the street, don’t look surprised if I say “Whats up!”.

Language no bar!

India is a scam artist’s paradise. You can climb up the ladder of success so long as you have ideas. People on the street know as much about marketing, as, I suppose, an MBA-Marketing from Harvard, just that they learn it for free and are still called illiterate. Some of the stunts they pull off are downright brilliant. What follows does not fall in that category. Outside the Nerul railway station, a 6’X 10’ Xerox centre had the following sign. “Hi Quality Cannon Xerox in all LANGUAGES”

What is Life if full of care......

One deal with the fast paced world is that hardly anyone nowadays is a good listener. As chuck Palahniuk said in Fight Club, “it seems like no one is listening, like they’re just waiting for their turn to speak”. But in these ages where hearing is the norm and listening is a forgotten art, we cover up our trail well enough so as not to have the other take offence. While the following episode with my friend Prajakta didn’t offend me, it brought me a wry smile. She was on her way to San Francisco and thought that I should join her. I told her that it would be kind of hard with me having to trash my car after a huge accident on the interstate. What followed was a piece of absent-minded genius. She squealed “car!! u lucky pig! I didn’t know you had a car. What car is it?” with that she got disconnected and I wondered if I’d ever encounter a better case in point about “missing the point”. I guess not.